205: Failure Teaches You The Most Important Business Lessons

Melissa: [: 00:00:00

ng your goal is as important [: 00:01:00

And what you do In the ensuing days when you miss your goal determines the future success of your business. Can I say that one more time? The way you react, I'm not gonna say it exactly how I said it, but the way you respond and the way you react when you miss your goals and the ensuing days determines the future of your business.

Because it's not always a winning game. It is not always rainbows and unicorns, right? So I'm here. To share with this with you today with a jackhammer in the background, because I'm determined to record this call and they are doing work in my backyard. So, apologize if you hear the jackhammer in advance, but I wanted to get this message to you because it's timely because it's recent and it happened to us, right?

on the back end went wrong. [: 00:02:00

Right? What is your strategy? I'm going to give you some tips and tricks and some things I want you to check in on. Okay. Number one, my friends is that financial goals. First of all, do not define your worth, right? I'm going to say that again, your financial goals and whether you achieve them or not, do not define your worth.

r. You will be able to laugh [: 00:03:00

Um, you won't become as addicted to the highs because you're so associated with them for self worth. And you won't be stuck in the dumps for so long with depression and self doubt when you hit the lows because you aren't Tying your worthiness and your identity to it. You have to learn to separate it and know that there are cycles in business and many times the cycles of the ups and downs.

Excuse me, the cycles are signals. So I'm going to say that one more time. The cycles are signals that are feedback to us, right? They're feedback. And that's going to bring me to another topic I'm going to talk about in a minute, but it's like, what do we do with that feedback? Right? What do we do with that feedback?

myself worth with a revenue [: 00:04:00

And move through it. So I actually gave myself permission with a time limit. And that is the key with a time limit to sit. In the disappointment and let it move through my body, I actually took an entire Friday off and I'll never forget sitting in the chair and having my ugly girl cry moment of disappointment because I was disappointed that I didn't meet my goal.

emotion and allow it to move [: 00:05:00

That didn't go the way I wanted it to go and it's gone like that time is gone. I have to mourn that it's over, but then pick myself back up with resiliency because resiliency is key and entrepreneurship. It is a calculated game of risk and sometimes we overshoot and we don't get the results we want.

Sometimes we undershoot and we still don't get the results we want and sometimes we're right on the line. And we have to recognize that sometimes we win and sometimes we lose and it's those of us who can bounce back and learn from the failures that actually take those lessons, lessons that become blessings.

ait to come back to you in a [: 00:06:00

It usually means something big is about to happen. When I first got into this game, when I failed at something or got a lot of resistance or headwinds, I felt like it was the end of the world. And I felt like I wasn't going to succeed. And I felt like it was all going to be over and that I wasn't safe.

Can anybody relate to that? But now having gone through the cycle of entrepreneurship year over year over year and taking calculated risks where I've failed and I've succeeded and I've failed and I've succeeded and this success significantly outweighs the failures. And the failures created the lessons that created the trajectory of the success.

I actually get more [: 00:07:00

I love the analogy of the pot, the potted plant that's inside and there's a conversation between an adult and a little boy and the adult was putting the pot, the plant outside and a child said, are you putting the plant outside? Um, so that it can get some sun and he said, No, I'm actually I took the plant out of the pot inside because it wasn't going to grow anymore.

and identifying what is this [: 00:08:00

And am I on the precipice of some massive growth? And is that why I'm feeling the resistance? Because radical change needs to happen in order to get to the next level. And am I ready for it? I've asked for it, but am I ready for it? Right? Okay, so the next step that I love, the next step that I love is Would your 10 year previous self, whatever failure you're coming into right now, would your 10 year previous self die for your current problem?

. Because I'd missed my goal.[: 00:09:00

Perspective is everything, right? So give yourself a reality check. So here I am, ugly girl cry, disappointed in processing the disappointment and can quickly create resiliency by looking around my life and realizing it is okay to be disappointed, but don't let this override the joy and the life and the things that you have here today, right now.

Do not wallow in it, for you will miss all the great things around you right here, right now that you've worked so hard for, right? And that your previous self would have died for. When I was in corporate, to be sitting on the 18th floor after a 90 minute massage at the Ritz Carlton on a Friday, crying about making a half a million dollars in nine days, really?

r. Right now, the next thing [: 00:10:00

So instead of resisting the loss, and instead of resisting the headwinds, It's turning over rocks and understanding why, why am I getting these headwinds? Let me understand, let me do a post launch analysis of what went wrong and what am I being told here? Right? What am I being told here? And I have to tell you, part of my ugly girl cry at the rebits, I have to be fully honest.

hich is pretty sweet. Right. [: 00:11:00

And there's two sides of me. There's the side of me that knows with this type of resistance. So much growth and change is about to happen. I've asked for it. I've manifested it. I've asked for the scaling. I've asked for the growth, right? And now it's happening and I have to reassess the structure of my company and the way that we do things in order to hold more.

re where they aren't getting [: 00:12:00

That was a realization I had at the Ritz that day. Was, fuck, I know what's ahead and I'm excited and I'm sad at the same time. This can mean nothing other. Then expansion, which means I'm going to have to lean into my divine masculine to lead the team, make radical decisions for this hyper growth. And the company will no longer look the way it used to, and that's exciting and it's scary.

saying, yes, this is what we [: 00:13:00

And the other half of my body is saying, but this means change. This means a lot of work, right? This means hiring and structure and evolution. And there's a tremendous morning of the business I had. while also being excited about the trajectory and the growth of where I'm going. And here's the key. Here's the key.

As a business owner, do you create enough space And quiet time to literally process everything. I just walked you through. Think about everything I just processed in my body, physically, in my body, emotionally, in my body, mentally, I gave myself the space to process mourn strategize to creating quiet space as the business owner.

that quiet space. It doesn't [: 00:14:00

We missed our goal because it ignited such radical action with myself and my team. Radical changes. Some people are coming with us and we're leaving some teammates behind. Because what got us here is not going to take us there and that's a realization I have to make as the CEO, right? And that's the body resisting the change.

een in their small shell and [: 00:15:00

You have to get out of the shell, which makes them vulnerable, right? And so I'm in this vulnerable state as a business owner, making strategic changes as we move to our next launch in April, I'm hiring new people and I'm bringing in new things and new strategy and I'm running to my big shell. And I am running as fast as I can, while also trying to enjoy the process.

Right? Trying to enjoy the process. You guys know I'm always going to keep it real with you. I'm going to keep it real with you. Right? So, are you making the space to slow down and assess? And to listen, allow your body to process, allow your mind to process, allow yourself to strategically think, do you know that post launch?

all the numbers came down, I [: 00:16:00

We have since found all the problems, I can't say all. Um, but just know I can't wait for my next episode with you guys on the follow up to this and all the change and the epiphanies and the light bulbs and the growth and the hiring and the strategy and the things that we've learned. That's a whole nother episode.

I'm still in transit on that. Right. But all of the processing happened because I created the space to process and I also was okay with being okay with telling my team. I'm not ready. To come to you with what I think is the problem because I haven't had the time to process it yet and ask enough questions, do enough digging.

And [: 00:17:00

I've got a roof over my head. I live in a first world country where I am safe. I am fed and I am blessed. Right? And so even in the midst of not meeting my goals, can I love where I am? And can I love and appreciate the chaos of the changes that I'm making, which I will take that word back. It's not chaos.

inding, and organized growth [: 00:18:00

If you wallow in them, that energy follows you and your business follows that energy. And then we fall into a scarce, fearful state that keeps us stuck and not making the right decisions. I actually doubled down, started investing more, started hiring more people when I didn't meet my goal. That is a energy of high frequency, which attracts what I desire, right?

on't be so serious. You have [: 00:19:00

I said, terrible. And I was able to laugh. I wasn't crying. I was able to laugh. Right. Because my identity is not hinged around that number. Right. Okay. It has been a 10 year journey in entrepreneurship to get myself to this perspective that I have today. It has been a daily practice of nervous system regulation and a shift in mindset energetically to be able to grab the wheel.

e quite some time to be able [: 00:20:00

The previous version of myself when I was in my early entrepreneur years would have been to self wallow and the disappointment and to actually get really scared and, and to get into a stuck state that would actually keep my business stuck for fear of continued loss. Right? And with the self worth wrapped around it, right?

all it the cycle of shit. We [: 00:21:00

How long are you gonna sit in your cycle of shit? It's your choice. It's your choice. No one else's. No one else's. Right? There will always be seasons in business just like the weather. It is not always rosy. It's not always sunshine. So the sooner you can embrace this and learn to leverage skills to move through disappointment healthily and quicker and rebound, the more healthy your business will be, the more healthy the team will be that you lead.

friends, your business, your [: 00:22:00

I mean, feel through it and move through it. Don't wallow in it. I'm not here to rub your back and keep you stuck. But feel it and move through it. Right? Ask yourself at the end of it, what would your previous 10 year self, 10 years ago, what would they think of your current problems? What would they think of your current problems?

believe failure is always a [: 00:23:00

Right? Lastly, life is about loving where you are, no matter where you are. Can you find the joy even in the disappointment? Can you find fun and laughter even in the disappointment? Okay. Can you love where you are in this moment? That is it for you, my friends. I hope this has been helpful. If you've recently not met a goal, know that I am human.

ons and changes and results. [: 00:24:00